Henge Thought Perspective

Simon Flynn

My brain was injured in multiple ways by an unknown chemical of unknown dosage in 1994 and into 1995. The chemical was psychotropic and I was and for years continued to be in an intense classical conditioning regimen of distance freestyle, which in ways can be likened to extreme stress during sensory deprivation.

I was diagnosed as schizoaffective in 1998. In summation, I have been in various states of sublimation and sedation for nearly 30 years. My BMI went from 7, at the time of my 55:05 5k pool freestyle record, to over 50 in the first two years of treatment and has recently diminished.

My clinical situation, as I understand it, is;

1) rapid thoughts prefrontal cortex
2) structural damage temporal lobe right
3) Brainstem/diaphragm nervous tissue damage.
4) extraordinary parietal lobe function.

So… I am locked behind a “broken window” and moving too fast with a pattern and content of thoughts that was founded on an eastern seaboard education which earned me my UMass Amherst Bachelor of Science by 2004, after my first decade of hospitalization. The medicine slowing and organizing my thoughts slows my body as breathing with my distance freestyle lungs makes requisite a CPAP machine in the nocturne.

I have, in treatment, always understood what is happening to me is a sort of brain entropy. I could be descriptive here with words like dispersal and make a metaphor of something like a GIS scatter plot map of Forest mensuration. Yet, if sanity is in certain ways a centered aspect to self; then I attest to psychiatric assertions that the newest and most advanced antipsychotic class medications center the self in a place where the medication prevents hallucinations and delusions and yet seems to be unable to eliminate negative symptoms of disorganized behavior and difficulties with self care.

Thus; I have a newfound concept of a zodiac armillary henge in a perimeter at flux, where I am the set, and infinite fixes surround me. Dead reckoning has become for me a constant practice in my psychiatry and religion, where I notice the compendium of the understandings I have built as much as the variable forms of the paradigmatic geospatial substance and heaven in and through all things. I believe in Jesus Christ. The Pentateuch is certainly a map to me. I recognize the Bible’s New Testament as a report of events by various extraordinary individuals who witnessed and served Christ as best they could. Then, the Roman Catholic Missal arranges New Testament events as a chronology. The point being, that a third book might discuss the known, disputed, and possible path of the messiah in map format and be a compendium to the Missal which would be true to the new (and old) testament.

I am postulating that everything is, from the variably defined set point alluded to above; not only all that an individual is capable of knowing, that the past is remembered, and the future surmised; yet that it has become a practice for me to be in and of the place of my particular instant. And, that as a disabled American, I need to find myself to be the set at the place I am, and to realize that while all people differ from each other in the sensory cognition and expression which awakens them within and connects them to this world; I am extraordinary in illness and seek primarily in my awareness of this to find, here, and to bring, here; as many points of set footing in our vantage as might join me and share my sphere of reference to earth and heaven.

Yet, somehow, I deny all of this, and all of you… except for one, my wife, whom I have yet to find. And, regarding such, I am doing everything I can to avoid the Roman Catholic priesthood. I will remain a cloistered monk if I am unable to wed. I have only myself a set and my devices. As a disabled American, I have federal funding from the USA. It seems a time is finally arriving for me to be in my own cloister. I will write to you from my federal ground.