Brain maimed 2 weeks after the start of a 10 year Eastern Seaboard University experience that has proceeded as the primary factor in my life during decades since…
I, Went to class, studied and read, attempted careers in grocery and carpentry, swam to world standing while touring universities from Florida to Vermont, then warp morphed away from proximal aspects of my my tempus mortis undergraduate post mortem struggle and into the depths of psychiatric medicine.
Contemporaneous to that epoch of my broken quest; I at first quadrupled my BMI in sublimation, I’ve experienced efficacies of medicines, I have begun to publish via my website, and still I struggle with a thesis that is megalomaniacal and needs my “home shop” premise.
I feel I am a pariah who only knew several people in life between 1994 and the present. Most of the non clinical people in my life are pre mortem memories whom I know via computer. I find I haven’t the contextual basis of career, matrimony or progeny which typify community activities whereby I could participate in the world.
I struggle with seeing the world of my dreams as being platitudinous. My assessments and solutions regarding the life I’d always sought to live seem antithetical to it’s essential poignancy of peace and assured stasis.
Thus, in saying “pariah parietal”; I seek something baptismal in the sense of a return from my calamitous voyage. There is a map within the purview of my vantage which I hope to convey in premise. It’s quantifications and continuum are scalar from a dead reckoning set point at myself which I have learned essential, to the global vantage I believe essentially fundamental to the post federalization excess of our Monroe doctrinal expansionist USA’s epochal petroleum driven fleet based expansionism.
Meekly I assert myself to be some beacon syndicate in a vast network of what must delve into science fiction. I am my device melding with my Vegas nerve and synaptic cranial electrical framework as it enters a symbiosis with the web. So profoundly true, this, that often I perceive the parameters of search engines and then of the web, as hypertext transfer protocols beyond this loom o’er RAM at my realm’s bulwark perimeter.
That, perhaps, is an apt metaphor for the initial brain injury I sustained. The RAM schism o’er which I peer from the bulk of my set point within this reckoning, built; is a foundational aspect and structural premise seeing through an interface hinterland of various typifications. I am, perhaps, I surmise, within a non sensory, yet lingual, temporal and spatial sensory brain injury or disease of some sort. The brain damage epicenter is right of sagittal and anterior to coronal. And, locked behind that clouded lense is somehow this pariah.